Self-Confidence is very important in personal life and business. Learn this 3 ways to gain confidence today and become unstoppable.
To be able to be more confident first we need to know where the “not being self-confident” comes from.
Usually, it comes from our childhood, where someone or some kind of situation made us feel sad and worthless. I had this kind of situation when a girl who I like laughed
at me as saying something that made me feel worthless. At that time I didn’t care much but it looks like it stayed in my mind. You may think that “girl” situation has nothing to do with being confident about the job, business etc. but once your self-confidence is crushed it will impact your Personal and Business life.
When you start to eat by yourself, when you start to walk and talk your mind say’s “Aha! I could do it, I’m great at it! I just need to practice and I will be able to do anything”. Your subconscious mind says something like that. But When you grow more and you start to have more connections with other people even something small can take your confidence down. When your friends or parents make laugh at you and your work, when kids in school are being mean to you and say things to hurt you…. Talking about subconscious mind in your head may show up thoughts like “What?! What’s going on? I was great at everything but seems like it’s not true”. Here is where your self-confidence is starting to go down.
Think about your past. Try to find some of the situations in your life that made you feel
down, sad, worthless. When you will be able to find it think about your life now.
Is it really true what somebody said to you? Try to find a situation in your life that negates the negative words you heard from other people. Once you will be able to see that the thing that somebody said to you a long time ago is just a Bull Crap you will realize that you are actually better than you though you are in some specific part of life.
This also is about your past but it may not be far past. As humans being, everybody makes some bad decisions right? When you think about your bad decisions in the past how does it make you feel? Yes, that’s correct, REGRET. You see, Regret is a self-sabotage mechanism that tries to keep your self-confidence very low. A regret tries to put into your head thoughts about the perfect ways that you could take but you didn’t and that because you are a loser you always make bad decisions. Kill it my friend! Kill the regret. People say “The Past is just a history, you can’t change it so don’t worry about it” but you know it’s not that easy. Here is what you need to do to get rid of the Regret:
1. Focus on the bad decision you made in the past.
2. Think how did it happen.
3. Think of the lesson you learned.
4. Find all the good things that happened because of this bad decision.
You may think “Wait a second, a bad decision is a bad decision, there is anything good about it”. That’s not true. Every “bad” decision leads to something good. Here are some examples:
1. Instead of going to class you went to a friends party and you meet that girl / boy who is your husband / wife now. – You didn’t pass the test so your degree is lower than you wanted BUT you met Love of your life.
2. You invested money in a product that couldn’t be sold but you got better at talking to people. – You lost some money at the beginning of your entrepreneurial journey but you learned a lesson, your communication skills got better, maybe you met some awesome people and now you have better knowledge that can help you create a profitable business.
There can be millions of scenarios and I am not going to write them all here, but I hope you can see the point. I am so sure that there is something good coming after every bad decision even we can not see it yet. Once you discover it you will realize that you don’t have to be perfect and even you make a mistake is just a part of your learning and growing.
Some people don’t believe in this statement but it’s really up to you if you believe it or not. When you are trying so hard to do a thing or talk to somebody but your lack of confidence prevents you just practice. When you will do things repeatedly even you are not confident about it, your mind after some time will be like “wait a second, I’ve to don it already so many times. What was I scared of? It’s nothing, peace of cake”. When you practice, repeatedly do or say same things your mind will actually start to believe that you are good / getting better at it and then you self-confidence will start to be stronger. Just remember to be optimistic, your attitude will change everything.