People are not achieving goals because they are afraid of other people’s opinion and they are scared that their plan won’t work. This is why many people forget about their dreams. Instead of focusing on achieving goals, they are hiding in the shadows and they believe that will protect them from all the terrible experiences that might happen.
This is what happened to me. I don’t even remember since when but for years I was trying to hide so I won’t get hurt. I had dreams and plan but the fear was stronger than my desire. That mindset led me to many troubles and disappointments. Even more terrible thing was that terrible circumstances, troubles, pains and anything else touched also people who are close to me. One thing is when you damage yourself and you prevent your own dreams to come true, but it’s a totally different thing when other people get hurt because of you and because of you people struggle with achieving goals.
I am not talking only about people who are close to you like your spouse or kids. The mindset you have can damage everyone around you, including your friends, neighbors, and Clients!
I am a big guy, but for years I felt like that puppy on the image. I think people couldn’t see it because I was hiding my emotions often, but my wife said that sometimes my face expression was like that.
I was telling myself that I am working hard. Was focusing on achieving goals but nothing worked and people don’t understand me. Wished for somebody to give me the permission to quit or to tell me that it’s not my fault. For years everyone and everything seemed to be against me and that I am all alone in this business and personal growth world.
I am not sure why I had this kind of mindset. Guessing that it has something to do with my parents, well my mother mostly because she was doing everything for their kids. Cleaning, cooking etc. I didn’t have much of the responsibility when I was a kid or even a Teenager! So technically I was a spoiled kid. When I created my family and I faced the real world I felt like “Why me! boo hoo!” Since then some kind of mental block showed up and stayed for years.
I realized that something is not right when my wife and kids went to Japan for summer holidays. I was alone for 3 months and I worked hard, got some amazing results too but between work I was tired, depressed and I didn’t know what to do with my life. That sounds like some serious depression, but it wasn’t. I was just trying to break that mental block and focus on achieving goals. Breaking the mental blocks is like fighting with the evil clone of yourself. Each time you fight back you get hurt as well.
But I needed to change it. I needed to do something about it to be able to focus on achieving goals and to make my dreams come true.
I was freaking out only thinking that someone is looking at me. Was truly scared of people’s eyes and people’s opinions about me or about what I do. I had plans and some really great ideas but the fear of “What would the say” destroyed it all. Believe me or not but many times after I quit and idea later I saw someone doing or inventing it. That was painful!
This painful event supposed to help me with changing my mindset but no, it was a totally opposite.
I can bet you heard that fears and doubts don’t bring anything positive into your life. This is true. Emotion like fear is only to protect you. Our mind is trying to keep us where we are right now. It doesn’t care if the circumstances are good or bad, it just doesn’t want use to get hurt. Unfortunately most of the times our protective mechanism fails because it tries to protect us from things that can’t hurt us. In most cases, our imagination stops us from growing because we have no idea what’s on the other side of the bridge. Our mind or imagination do not know if on the other side of the bridge we can find a bucket of gold or hungry monster and since our mind is there to protect us, it doesn’t take the 50% risk to check if there is a gold.
This is how our protective mechanism works and it does it each time no matter the situation.
I was truly afraid of talking to other people. I went to Florida for TEAL and I met many incredible people there, was listening to the speakers all day and I learned a lot but I wasn’t that much satisfied. Knew I could learn more, but the fear of people opinions, people’s eyes and many other things were preventing me from focusing on the training. I knew I had to do something with this because I was going down!
I am not going to share the names, but some of my mentors and coaches are really Great Looking! Guys look sharp and confident and women are hot! This must be the key to success, I thought! A true BS! But this is what I was thinking for a long time. I personally had a lot of complexes about my face and body. If you are thinking that look has something to do with your level of success than you are wrong. If you pay attention to many successful people, they started to look better after they succeed. They were able to invest in their bodies. Even if it was made by the cosmetic surgery.
If you don’t feel confident with your face or body than succeed and change it however you want. But you need to know that there are thousands of people who are much uglier than you but they are extremely successful. I don’t like to use word “Ugly” but it’s true!
I noticed that most of the successful people have something that I don’t have. It’s the look. I don’t even know how to call it, but there is a type of look that says “I will get what I want so get out of my way”. Maybe it’s called “confident look”, “strong look” or something else. I seriously don’t know how to call it. If you have any idea let me know in the comments below. But anyway. I loved and still love to look at photos of people who has kind of look. It just feels so empowering. Unfortunately, I couldn’t find this kind of look in myself.
My look and face expression was mostly like that dog’s photo at the top. I seriously spent so many hours searching for photos with people who has this “strong look” imagining me having that look. By the way, this is the type of look I am talking about (Katy Perry – Part Of Me at 1:33)
Achieving goals has a lot to do with your mindset. You can’t accomplish tasks, overcome obstacles and follow your dreams if your mindset is weak. People who somehow achieve goals with a weak mindset are just lucky and they lose it fast.
The good news is that everyone has a warrior inside. The bad news is that in most of the people that warrior is sleeping.
There are only 2 ways to wake up the sleeping warrior. One way is any kind of tragic event that involves serious mental or physical pain, a death of someone close to you or losing everything. Another way to wake up the sleeping warrior is to get to the point where you seriously have enough of all the shitty circumstances.
Maybe there is another way to wake up the warrior which I don’t know about, but I bet it takes some serious personal development training to wake it up. From my experience and my observations I see that most of the people who are super successful went through some situation that made them say “It’s Enough!“. Look for people’s interviews on google, you will notice that so many of them are talking about the trigger that changed their life.
This is a proof that everybody has the sleeping warrior inside of them. The biggest job is to find a way to wake it up. I know only these 2 ways, but feel free to ask some successful people about waking up the warrior. Maybe they will have some better ideas that do not involve pain.
This post got a little bit longer because when I am talking about myself and my personal experience I get fired up! To finish it I just want to let you know that no matter your circumstances, no matter how you look or who you are you can make your dreams come true. I don’t care who you are, what sex you are and what race you are, the warrior is in you. Only being aware of the warrior inside you can make you feel much better and this will help you with achieving goals.
So don’t give up, don’t care what others say, follow your dream because you are worth it and people will recognize your name!
Be unstoppable! Follow Your Dreams!
World’s Great Articles:
1. The Warrior Soul
2. 12 Signs You Have an Entrepreneurial Mindset
3. How to Break Out of a Victim Mentality: 7 Powerful Tips
What do you think helps or prevents with Achieving Goals?
Do you know any strategy to wake up the sleeping warrior?
Share your thoughts in the comments below!