I don’t know you, but if you are a person that wants other people to feel sorry for you or you are constantly getting depressed this post is for you. There is actually a pattern which I call “dyspnoea box pattern“. I call it “dyspnoea box pattern” because at the end you feel like you are caught in a small box without a possibility to get out and there is no enough ear to breathe.
At the first this pattern doesn’t seem so heavy. Usually, it starts with a thought “I am bad at everything” or “everything is against me“. When you start to think this way you are stepping into a very dangerous zone from which is very difficult to get out.
There could be many reasons why you are feeling down or why you feel sorry for yourself. But the biggest reason is the comfort and running away from the responsibility. I know well these stages because I used to feel sorry for myself a lot crying in the shadows where no one could see.
When you are feeling sorry for yourself because you couldn’t achieve something, because it’s too hard for you, because you don’t have the skills is nothing else than seeking for the comfortable state of mind. When you start to believe that you suck at everything you will no longer need to try to do things you are not comfortable doing. Even your circumstances are horrible and it’s necessary for you to take action in order to change your current circumstances your mind is still looking for the comfort and peace. This happens a lot especially when you tried to do something, you didn’t get a result you want and you are tired of trying.
Feeling sorry for yourself doesn’t have to become from the thoughts about yourself, your skills or anything internal. Many times feeling sorry for yourself starts from the external things and situations which you believe are the reasons of failing. Excuses are the same as comfort because it’s more comfortable and much easier to make an excuse than actually go to a meeting where you don’t know anybody. The problem is that many people don’t realize that when you are making excuses you are not making an excuse to run away from some particular situation. When you are making excuses, you are running away from your life and all the amazing things that life can provide.
For example, if you have some kind of business idea but you don’t have a budget to start it you need to look for an investor. But because your mindset is set for making excuses, instead of making 40 calls a day to different investors you will come up with a silly excuse. Your excuse could be a throat pain, headache, friends birthday, being sleepy, being tired and so on. It just feels so good to say “I am tired so I will call them tomorrow“. Now, you have a full day to rest to “have” the energy to call those investors tomorrow. A question: how can you know if you don’t make another excuse tomorrow? Maybe something will happen to your child tomorrow and you will not be able to make that calls?
I am pretty sure there was a time where you said that you will do something next day and now it’s 1 year later and you still didn’t do it. It happened to my many times.
This is a killer for achieving your goals. When you are in dyspnoea box pattern you want people to understand you. You want people to say “I understand. It’s impossible to make it happen with your circumstances“. It feels good to hear it from your friends right? But do you know why you want people to feel and understand your pain? It’s because when your friend or a family member tells you that “It’s hard for you” or “I totally understand. You’ve tried enough and it won’t work. Now rest.” You are getting a permission to quit!.
Sometimes it’s not easy to quit something by yourself, so getting a permission to quit from someone else makes sense. That’s why you want people to say “oh you are so poor. I hope you will be ok“. You need to stop this pattern. You need to work on it because if you don’t you are not gonna have a life, you will be living in the misery and you will never get ours from the tiny box where is not enough room to breathe.
I know you want the answer right now but if you scrolled the page down without reading the content above, please go back and read it from the beginning if you want to change your life.
You need to build stronger mindset if I want to break the dyspnoea box pattern. Usually, people who are living in the dyspnoea box pattern are people who feel sorry for others. I am sure you feel sorry at some point for people when you hear them complaining. I am not telling you to be a stone cold heart person, but not every situation in people’s life is a tragedy. Sometimes it’s just a progress of learning new thing.
If you want to stop feeling sorry for yourself first you need to stop feeling sorry for others. This is one of the best ways to break the pattern. When you stop feeling sorry for your friends or family members your own mind will become stronger and it won’t look for pity anymore.
Another way is to stop complaining. Complaining brings you only troubles. When you are complaining you are focusing on all the negativities around you, by that you are attracting even more horrible situations into your life. More than often feeling sorry for yourself and blaming external sources for your failure starts with a simple complaining. You might complain about not having enough time, money, skills, friends. What about complaining about someone’s success or all the terrible things that are currently happening to you?
You need to stop that. When you complain you are focusing on what’s wrong with your life and that’s not empowering. Complaining destroys your life and career.
My friend and mentor recorded an amazing video about succeeding when you are broke. Feel free to watch it below and let him know how his video impacted you at his blog Here
Stop Feeling Sorry For Yourself!
Stop Feeling Sorry For Someone!
Are you still struggling with this problem?
Maybe you have some ideas about how to stop feeling sorry for ourselves?
Share your thoughts and ideas in the comments below! Thanks!